Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
