is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Houston, we have a blender
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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