A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
