I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
