he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
