OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
