just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
