i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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