I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
