Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
