i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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