i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
