Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
