THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
