And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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