Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize
