If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We are two peas in an std pod
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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