smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
