Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
