apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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