And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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