i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
How external is "for external use only"?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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