Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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