That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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