We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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