Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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