um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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