I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
