I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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