ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
How naked do you want me to be?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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