You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
