Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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