I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
