Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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