My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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