some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
