Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I am naked and annoyed.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
