it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize