you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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