bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
