I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
