She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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