Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
