you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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