morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
