So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize