I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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