Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
