She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
