Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i love accidental penises.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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