Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
