I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
