he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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