I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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