gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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