Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
