well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I want to walk on stilts...naked
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
